


A Distorted Desire

by ImpyTricky (rychuu)



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24562945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rychuu/pseuds/ImpyTricky
Summary: After nearly killing Kenshin's "shadow" following the storming of his palace, Kokichi starts spiralling and his own palace is created. Trapping Kurochi inside as his "treasure," Kokichi’s shadow refuses to let go of his brother and has an almost obsessive need to keep him safe.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: Kokichi Ouma Month





	A Distorted Desire

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 5 of Ouma month, and I used the prompt "Phantom Thief" to write a sort of one shot persona 5 crossover fic. :'D
> 
> AKA Rye provides a fic where once again, Kokichi needs therapy.

“Don’t you _dare_ come any closer!”

The shadow of Kokichi Ouma screamed, eyes widened and shimmering a golden yellow. Behind him was a cage, and within it, his twin brother. He was crying, grabbing the bars tightly with his hands, as if that would free him from the prison he found himself in.

“Kii-chi… They… they’re here to help, okay?” he whimpered. “It’s okay, I--”

“Shut up, Kurochi! You don’t know _anything!”_ Kokichi hissed, growling and heaving. He had briefly turned to look at Kurochi before facing the others, his expression hardening and piercing. “They--they want to steal you away and hurt you! I won’t let that happen!” The shadow sobbed. “I won’t let it happen again!”

“Kokichi…” Shuichi spoke with a low, gentle voice. While he knew he wasn’t looking at the _real_ Kokichi Ouma, he knew that the shadow was unstable. Unstable with the distorted desire to protect his elder brother, no matter the cost. “We’re not going to hurt him, okay?”

“We know you’re scared,” Kaede stepped closer. Even if it made the shadow flinch, and even though she didn’t dare move closer, she had to push the boundaries, little by little. “But Kurochi can’t live here. Especially not like this…” She frowned. “I… don’t know what’s happened since the last palace, but--”

At the mention of the last palace, Kokichi’s shadow snarled, wincing and grabbing the hair on his head. “No! Not--not _that man,_ no…! He--”

“Whoa, hey, calm down,” Kaito urged. “Listen, no one’s gonna hurt anyone, okay? But the you in the real world, he needs his brother out of here. So you have to let him go.”

“No! Never!” the shadow barked. “He’s not allowed! If, if he stays in here, he’ll stay safe! He’ll stay safe, a-and no one will ever touch him ever again…! No one!”

Shuichi’s frown tightened. The shadow within Kokichi’s heart--a cage to protect a bird from flying into a storm--was just as trapped. Trapped in his own fear and paranoia, and in his own desire to protect his brother spiraling further and further out of control. He wished that they could help him calm down, little by little.

But they had already sent the calling card. They couldn’t send another one, so they had no choice. If they had to take Kurochi by force, then they would. But it pained Shuichi to see someone with such a tight mask in such a horrible state.

“Kii-chi…” Kurochi also had tears in his eyes, and his brows furrowed in confusion. Softly, he continued; “I… I don’t understand, what happened… Why are you scared? Why do you think they’re going to hurt me?”

 _“Everyone_ wants to hurt you!” Kokichi’s shadow balled his hands into fists. “So many people, so many disgusting adults… even our own father…! No, never again!” the shadow violently shook his head. “If--if you’re here, then no one can hurt you ever again! I won’t let them, I’ll make sure this world doesn’t let them even close!” Lifting his yellow eyes up, he started at them--those he would call intruders--his gaze was full of hatred and pierced right through Shuichi’s chest, making him feel paralyzed. “Starting--starting with _them!_ I won’t let anyone get this close ever again, and these guys…! They can all go to _hell!”_

The shadow raised his arms, and the world around them started warping. Shuichi wasn’t surprised--each person they gave a “change of heart” had their shadows warp into something monstrous. This was no different.

“Everyone, get ready!” Shuichi called out, both physically and mentally preparing himself to fight. As the world continued to warp, however, Kurochi started to look above them, blinking and his mouth agape. 

“... Kokichi?”

A bullet fired.

Kokichi’s shadow hollard as he fell over, grabbing at his shoulder where the bullet hit. He curled up on the ground, sobbing, as the world around them lost the deformity he had been starting.

Following Kurochi’s eyes, they found themselves staring up at the landing for the stairs that went up to the second floor. There, behind a smoking gun, was Kokichi. The real one, Shuichi presumed--it was unlikely that Kokichi would make a cognition of himself. Was that even possible? No, it wasn’t. The person he was staring at was Kokichi, and the other’s expression was cold and distant.

“K-Kokichi?!” Kaito blurted out. “What the hell?! How did you get here?!”

“... Well, that’s unfortunate. Geez...” Kokichi huffed. “... I _missed.”_

Shuichi could barely comprehend what he was seeing as Kokichi descended down from the stairs, and he started grinning once he was in front of them. “Hey, you Phantom Thieves! Aren’t you going to do your job, or do I have to do it for you again?” Kokichi pouted. “Well? Are you gonna defeat the big bad man of the palace?” He tucked his arms behind his head, grinning even wider. “This one’s tooootally a lost cause, so you shouldn’t bother trying to calm it down. Better to just shoot it in the head, riiiight?”

They all recoiled, but it was Kaito who shouted first; “What--?! What the hell are you talking about?! Do you even know what you’re saying?!” 

“Kokichi! That would cause a mental shut down…!” Kaede exclaimed. “This--this is _your_ palace! If we kill your shadow, you know what will happen to you, right?!”

“Hmm? How do you figure it’s _my_ palace?” Kokichi tilted his head. “I mean, _I’m_ here, right? So there’s something kind of off here, don’t you think?” Kokichi gestured his head to the shadow, who was still cradling his shoulder crying on the floor. “It’s probably a phony. A big fake, right? It’s only pretending to be me.”

“Pre… Pretending? To be you?” Shuichi shook his head. “No, I don’t think… I don’t think shadows can--”

“Geez, you guys are such _amateurs,_ I’m standing right here!” Kokichi rested a hand on his hip, frowning. “If this really was _my_ palace, then how come I can get inside? That just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Stop trying to trick us! We had to use your name in the app to get here!” Kaito pointed out, immediately dispelling any doubts that might have been growing in their minds. “And Kurochi… your own damn brother, is the treasure! You’re trying to trick us!”

Shuichi nodded. “Yeah… and, there’s no confirmation if someone can enter their own palace or not… Besides that, you know we don’t kill shadows…” He swallowed, his mouth feeling dry. “And… neither do _you._ You never kill shadows, it’s against your rules…”

Kokichi hummed at them, expression morphing into a cold, calculating state. Shuichi wished he knew what Kokichi was thinking. 

“Well, there’s an exception to every rule, isn’t there?” Kokichi chirped, happily smiling. “Buuut… I guess if you guys don’t want to break that rule, I can understand it. But don’t worry! That’s why I’m here!”

The hand that was on his hip moved, now holding a gun that it didn’t have before. In just seconds, Kokichi aimed at the shadow’s head, and went to pull the trigger.

“No!” 

Kaito acted immediately, tackling Kokichi to the ground with a loud snarl. It didn’t stop him from pulling the trigger, but it made him miss and hit the floor instead. Kokichi yelped upon impact, and those cheerful or cold expressions were replaced by a more genuine anger and frustration.

Kurochi screamed, shaking the bars of his cage. As if he could free himself and scramble to his brother’s side, after what he had just tried to do right in front of him.

“Idiot…! What are you doing, get the hell off!” Kokichi snarled as he struggled. “Get off of me!”

“No way!” Kaito immediately moved again, quickly locking his hand around Kokichi’s wrist, and keeping him from maneuvering it and the hold he held. _“You’re_ the idiot! What the hell do you think you’re even doing?!”

“K... Kokichi…” When Shuichi looked over to Kurochi, he was shaking worse than he had before, and he was sobbing. There was a distinct shock and horror filling his eyes. He could barely speak. “You… you can’t… W… _why?_ Please, I… you _can’t...”_

“Kokichi, what’s gotten into you...?” Kaede’s voice was wavering. Tears glimmered in her eyes. “I… Why would you…?”

Kokichi growled, snarling before he turned his head away. As if that would hide him enough from their gazes. As if that would erase what he just tried to do.

“Kokichi…” 

Shuichi swallowed, mind racing and unable to form words. He remembered back in the last palace, with the man named Kenshin Oshiro. Kokichi and Kurochi’s birth father. Kokichi had expressed doubts that Kenshin _could_ have a change of heart. He wanted to kill his shadow, but was unable to pull the trigger.

What did that mean, now?

Biting his lower lip, he moved--not towards Kokichi, but to his shadow. His shadow that was still crying, still curled in on himself. Shuichi kelt down next to it.

“... You’re hurting yourself,” he muttered, quietly. “You know that, don’t you? That's what you’re doing… it’s slowly eating you alive, isn’t it?”

Once he was finally addressed, the shadow hesitantly looked up at Shuichi, tears still spilling over from his eyes. Those enchanting, golden eyes that glowed like the sun. “... I j-just… I’m… I don’t care, if it h-hurts me,” he wheezed. “If Rochi is safe… then I don’t matter… I’ll die a million times before I’d… I’d let anyone hurt him again.”

“Shut up!” Kokichi shouted, glaring at the shadow. He started struggling against Kaito’s hold on him. “Shut up, you stupid, lying bastard…! You’re--you’re just trying to catch everyone off guard so you can kill them, aren’t you?! Shuichi, get away from it…!”

Shuichi ignored Kokichi. Kokichi was a liar, through and through. Lying to protect others, lying to protect _himself,_ lying to hide his true feelings… it was about time that they got the truth--and the truth that only his shadow would reveal. With his jaw tightened, he whispered to the shadow; “Do you… wish you were dead?” 

The shadow blinked at him, surprised by his words. He only sobbed.

So Shuichi pressed for more.

“Do you… think you’re a bad person?”

The shadow only started at him, and for a moment, Shuichi didn’t think he was going to get an answer. Though more tears welled up in his eyes, and Kokichi’s shadow sobbed before he nodded once. “I’m… not… I’m not good… I know I’m not…”

“It’s lying to you, you idiot!” Kokichi called out, momentarily catching Shuichi’s attention. “Get away from it! It’s just trying to get your guard down so it can kill you! Why aren’t you listening to me?!”

Shuichi frowned, before he turned back to the shadow. Gently, softly, he rested his hand on the shadow’s head. Trying to comfort him, in any way he could. “... Is that because of the last palace? Because of what you wanted to do…?”

“Argh! Get the hell off of me! Get off!” Kokichi struggled against Kaito’s hold, which caught Kaito off guard, but he quickly regained control. There wasn’t much Kokichi could do, laying on his stomach and Kaito having him pinned down. “You’re all idiots if you believe that thing, it’s lying!”

Even with Kokichi’s protests, no one was really paying attention to him. Their attention was on the shadow, a distorted reflection of Kokichi’s true self. Even if he was a shadow, he would give them more insight than Kokichi would.

“What… what happened in the other palace?” Kurochi asked, whimpering and sobbing. “What are you talking about?”

“... The last palace we invaded--” Shuichi started, but Kokichi interrupted him.

He started shouting again, but in more of a panic. “No! Shut up, that’s none of your business!”

“... The last palace we invaded belonged to--”

“Shut up! Be quiet! Don’t say any more!”

“--a man named Kenshin Oshiro.”

Kurochi gasped, flinching and backing away from them. His breath quickened, but he swallowed. Although shaking, Kurochi leaned forward again. “Kenshin… Oshiro…”

“We’re aware that he is your birth father,” Shuichi continued. “Kokichi… tried to keep us away from his palace, but we couldn’t just let a corrupt man like that go. We had to give him a change of heart.”

“Hey! Don’t drag Rochi into this!” Kokichi snarled. He wasn’t struggling anymore, but he was visibly more and more panicked every passing moment. “It’s none of your business!”

“... Kokichi let us join him in his raid of the palace.” Shuichi continued to ignore Kokichi’s shouting, trying not to let it distract him. “And we found him and his treasure. He said something… that set Kokichi off. Don’t know what it means, but I think that’s the catalyst for… all of this.”

“... I tried to kill him.”

Kokichi’s voice sounded far too soft and timid to be coming from the real Kokichi, so Shuichi turned towards the shadow. Kokichi’s shadow, still crying and sobbing, slowly sat up. He still cradled his wounded shoulder, and continued to sob.

Kurochi’s eyes had widened. “What… What do you mean?”

“He’s a bad man,” the shadow whimpered. “He hurt Rochi… He hurt Rochi, and let other people hurt him… I thought, he didn’t deserve to live, and if it was to keep Rochi safe--”

“--Stop! Shut up! You’re lying!”

The shadow’s eyes started to dim, as tears welled up and slipped down his cheeks again and again, in a never ending stream. “--Then maybe, just this once, it’s okay for someone to die--”

“--Don’t listen to it! It’s lying, it’s not even really me!”

“--As long as it’s to protect Rochi, I’ll… I’ll do _anything._ That’s what I thought… b-but, but I couldn’t do it,” the shadow started sobbing all over again. “I’m a terrible brother…! I couldn’t get revenge on the person wh-who hurt us, who wanted to hurt us and hurt Rochi so bad…!” he started wailing, like a child. “I’m a bad brother, a-and I don’t deserve to live! B-but, but I have to keep him safe, even--even if it’s from myself, if I’m dangerous or hurt him, th-then you should just k-kill me…!” Shoulder’s heaving, the shadow looked into Shuichi’s eyes, pleading, _begging._ “I’m… I’m the one hurting him now, aren’t I…? I just… I wanted to keep him safe, in this world, but… I knew I was being bad, and I…”

Shuichi’s lips pinched into a tight frown, and he shook his head. “No… You don’t deserve to hurt. You shouldn’t sacrifice yourself for someone else. No one… would want this.”

Kurochi had started sobbing, sobbing too hard to speak. His hands covered his mouth. Trying to hold back his sobbing. What the shadow had said, it had clearly affected him greatly. “K… Kii-chi… I…”

“I k-know I don’t deserve to live, though,” yet the shadow didn’t stop, and only continued to blubber out those dark feelings that Kokichi apparently buried under lock and key. “I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I just…” He buried his face into his hands, and sobbed heavily into them. “I’m not a good brother… I’m not a good p-person… I wanted to hurt someone, and I… I want Rochi to be safe, and happy.”

“Well, he… can’t exactly be happy in here, you know…” Kaede chimed in, her head hung and her right hand grabbing her other arm. She couldn’t even look at the shadow, nor at anyone. “He belongs in the real world, with the ‘real’ you. It might be… scary, and dangerous out there, but this isn’t the answer, either. Neither is… not existing anymore. You don’t deserve that. And… You _didn’t_ hurt him, even if you wanted to. That’s important, you know? I don’t know what he did to you two, but...”

“B-but… but I’m bad,” the shadow cried, though his voice was raspy and weak, strained from overuse. “I’m a bad person, I--I--”

“God _damn_ it, Kokichi, snap _out of it!”_ Kaito couldn’t stand to be silent any longer. He pulled himself up, and pulled Kokichi up with him. Kokichi’s eyes widened with shock. “I always knew you were messed up, but this…! This is a whole other level for you!” After grabbing Kokichi’s gun and tossing it away, Kaito grabbed Kokichi’s shoulders, and started shaking him. “You…! You really _were_ trying to kill yourself, weren’t you?! Do you really hate yourself _that_ much?!”

“Kaito…” Shuichi stood up, and took a step towards them. “We… that’s… that’s _enough..”_

“What--you heard what that shadow has been saying!” Ever passionate, ever an eternal flame, Kaito’s anger didn’t die down. Yet behind that anger were tears welling up in his eyes. “We can’t ignore what he was trying to do!”

“I… we’re not ignoring it, Kaito,” Shuichi shrunk at Kaito’s aggression, but he drew in a deep breath, and held his ground. “Yelling at him… It’s not going to help us, _or_ him. Right now, we need to focus on freeing Kurochi, and getting back to the real world.”

Glancing over at Kokichi, he had stopped protesting altogether. In fact, his eyes seemed unfocused--like his body was present, but his mind was elsewhere. His eyes were glassy from the tears he was surely trying to suppress.

“... Hey, Kokichi--erm… I guess, the shadow--” Kaede moved towards him, and knelt beside the shadow. “Can we take your real self and Kurochi back to the real world…? If we do, we can help the both of you. We’ll help you keep Kurochi safe, and…” Her voice trailed off. “... We can help you, so you’re not hurting so much anymore. We can’t do that in here, though. We need to get everyone outside. Is that okay?”

The shadow hiccuped, and wiped away his tears with his palms. Yet they wouldn’t stop coming, and he only continued to sob. “B-but… but I can’t be saved… I’m too far gone, a-and I’ll just hurt people, like _that man_ did…”

“That’s not true,” Shuichi interjected. “You… you won’t end up like him. Your palace, what desire created this place, it… it is far different than the one for Kenshin’s palace. Even if your desire was distorted… it’s not something a man like _that_ would have. You’re a better person than that.”

“B-but… I… this place, only bad people c-can have palaces.” The shadow shook his head. “Only bad people…”

“Who ever said only _bad people_ get palaces?” Kaito huffed. He averted his gaze away from everyone, trying to avoid looking directly at any of them. “All Keebo said was that Palaces are created from ‘distorted desires,’ or whatever, right? That doesn’t mean you have to be bad.”

The shadow had nothing to say to that. He just sat there, sniffling and sobbing, though his grief was starting to diminish. While Shuichi couldn’t say he looked ‘okay’ by any means, it was at least a start.

After wiping his face free of the stray tears that rolled down his face, the shadow dug his fingers into his pocket, and fished out a key. Hanging his head, he handed it over to Shuichi. 

“... You can take Rochi back… to the real world,” he murmured. “And… please, make sure--make sure he stays safe… Please…”

With a sorrowful smile, Shuichi accepted the key. “I promise. We’ll do our best to keep you _both_ safe.”

Kokichi’s shadow hiccuped, but he nodded, never moving to raise his head to watch as Shuichi made his way over to Kurochi’s cage.

Kurochi, unfortunately, had been pushed to the back of his mind, but now that he was face to face with him, he saw how pale his face had become and how devastated he looked.

“P-please,” he begged. “I--I need to--I need to be, I need to--”

“Shh, it’s… it’s going to be okay. Hold on, I’m going to unlock this for you.” Shuichi took no time to insert the key into the lock, and twisted it. However, instead of opening a door, the whole cage disintegrated into the light blue petals of forget-me-nots.

Wheezing, Kurochi immediately ran over to his brother. With Kaito stepping away from him at the last second, Kurochi practically tackled Kokichi with a hug and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Even if Kokichi was mentally gone, running away from the situation in the only way he could, his arms slowly moved to return the embrace.

“Kii-chi, I’m--I’m sorry,” Kurochi whimpered. “I’m so sorry, Kii-chi…”

“Hey, come on, it isn’t your fault either, you know.” Kaito glanced over the twins before looking elsewhere, rubbing the back of his neck. “You two… have a bad habit of blaming yourselves, don’t you?”

“W-well… we should probably get going,” Kaede asserted. “The palace could start to collapse at any moment. We’ll… deal with the rest of this outside.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Kurochi, you go with Shuichi. I’ll take Kokichi, and you can talk some sense into him when we’re out of this mess, okay?”

Kurochi hesitated, but he nodded. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve one final time before he started to tail Shuichi. Looking to Kaede with a nod, Shuichi pressed the bridge of his mask to his face. “All right, let’s move.”


End file.
